Disappointments FF1

What are you supposed to do when your biggest childhood role model becomes into a spiraling cyclone? Are you supposed to act like it isn't even real? Or are you supposed to shun them from your life? This is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with, and I have been dealing with it for quite some while now. My aunt, she has always been there for me. She taught me how to ride, and how to not be scared to fall and how to handle pain. She taught me to have no fear, to do what I want. She taught me how to be the best I can be physically. She has taught me everything not to be, by example. She is an alcoholic. She is a drug addict. She is a liar. She is weak. She comes off strong as hell, but even though she does put up with the things she has to go through, she still stays. She doesn't walk away from it. I used to be very important to her. I was like a daughter to her. I looked up to her, and she knew damn well I did. So why doesn't she stop? Why doesn't she give it all up to have her family back? Why is the alcohol and the drugs more important to her than us? This is something I don't think I will ever understand. Hearing day after day that something went wrong, is terrifying. Getting a phone call saying that she has totaled her truck, and doesn't remember doing it, is horrifying. Every night I am scared to death that I am going to wake up to a phone call telling me she has passed. Either overdosed or gotten into an accident. I am young, these are things that I shouldn't have to worry about....but I do. I love her, and I always will. But there comes a point when you realize, enough is enough.